Sunday, April 27, 2008

Just some thoughts about being pregnant

1- dude, it totally sucks.

2- No, I mean, REALLY. What to Expect When You're Expecting only needs to be, like, one paragraph long, and all it has to say is "You should expect to experience mind-bending nausea at every waking moment, long enough to forget how feeling good actually feels. Eventually, that will pass, but by then, you won't be able to breathe or go more than twenty minutes without peeing. That will pass, too, but only after you endure the unspeakable process of getting the baby out of your body. Then you would be able to sleep, but you won't, because your baby will never, ever sleep through the night. Following that, you will spend the rest of your life petrified that they're going to take up a hobby like stripping or growing brain tumors."

3- I'm a total, obsessive worrier. This is hardly news to, oh, anyone. I really and truly believe that worrying about things prevents them from happening, and I can't convince myself otherwise. In fact, we were consulted on a patient a few weeks ago who had a severe
anoxic brain injury due to placental abruption, and all I could think was, Shit, I forgot to worry about that.

Initially,I was focused on seeing the heartbeat, because I knew that once we saw that, our chances of successful pregnancy were very high. And I obsessed while I was waiting for that ultrasound- the whole process was way too easy, so many things can go wrong, etc. I just focused on that ultrsound and swore I'd be just fine once it was done. A friend of mine said, "Okay, but the thing is, once you see that, you worry about the congenital anomalies scan. Then you worry about them being born safely. Then you worry about developmental delays and autism. And so on." (see: above re: stripping and tumors) And she's right. So I am really, really working on that. So far, not having much success. Will keep you posted.

4- I know it's kind of weird looking, and my father was totally grossed out by it, but I actually think it's awfully cute:



Rae said...

Wow. I realize that you already told me you were pregnant but it more real when you see the baby.
And you thought it was going to tak a long time....

Crabby Apple Seed: said...

Yeah. There's a baby in there. A mean and evil baby that leaves me prostrate on the couch, lapsing into a coma at 6:45 in the evening (and therefore never knowing how that one episode of the Cosby Show ends, where Claire is trying to lose five pounds in six days to fit into a dress), nearly drowning in my own drool, imagining the various prized possessions I would give up for just ONE dose of Zofran.

Also a mean and evil baby who makes our whole house reek of peanut butter.

I'm totally going to give birth to Stewie Griffin.