Saturday, November 29, 2008

The Bolsheviks, dear.

How much do I love the movie Annie?

A lot. Enough that I forgot to be annoyed about being pregnant for a few minutes. I mean, come on, Albert Finney in a bald cap! Carol Burnett singing! Grandpa Gilmore playing FDR! The Republican jokes! The blatant racist stereotypes!

Ok, not that last one, that's kind of shocking me, actually, but the rest is so totally kickass awesome, you'd have to be DEAD IN YOUR SOUL to hate this movie.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Wow, so for real...

I actually AM going to be pregnant forever.

The doctor today told me I definitely need to make a post-dates appt. Since it's so close, the only appt they had was on my birthday, in the middle of the day, with the one doctor in the practice I really don't like. Who I'm already seeing next week. Why? Because she's the only one who has availability this late. Because she sucks.

And to all the authors of all the studies that said that women who exercise throughout their pregnancy deliver, on average, a week earlier than all the other women, giving me hope that I would not have this baby sometime in January? May you be forced to slice lemons after being subjected to thousands of tiny papercuts. I hate you. All of you.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I just have one question.

If Hilary Clinton were a man, would the Chicago Tribune be referring to her as Obama's "frenemy of state"?

Yeah. I didn't think so, either.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

More Baby Stuff

1- We absolutely cannot find a rug for the nursery. Everything is either the size of a doormat or totally ugly. there was one at Pottery Barn that we both liked, but it was backordered until January. We may just go rug-less in that room until then, because I am coming up totally empty. The problem is, the floor is so thoroughly disgusting in that room, I'm not sure I can stand it. Also, why do people want doormat-sized rugs for their baby's rooms? Yet another thing I do not understand.

2- I had a dream last night that I had the baby. Usually when I dream this, it's really weird and messed up- like the time Shnee had to tell me I'd had a c-section, because I didn't know myself, or I'll dream that I have two babies and one cat, or something like that. Last night, though, it was just a normal dream. I had a girl, she came out in, like, four pushes, and she was delivered by one of the doctors in the practice that I really like. it was just really, really nice. Then I woke up and I was still pregnant. And that sucked.

3- Several non-baby items: Our basement is too shallow for a treadmill. This blows beyond description, especially because we live in the middle of the goddamn Arctic Circle, or so it would seem, based on the recent horrible weather (but to make this baby related- everyone told me I'd be hot all the time when I was pregnant and I have had no such experience. LIARS.) I neeeed to run, I am stiff and crabby and sluggish and I'm going to lose my mind. I must find a solution to this problem. Maybe I'll just buy a helmet and then I won't care when I continuously smack my head on the rafters. Also, totally unrelated, did you know that Dean Richards from the WGN News did the voiceover for the Victory Auto Wreckers commercial? I don't know how I missed that, we watch the WGN news every single morning and I never made the connection.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Weight Suit

For the last few months, I used the elliptical in the building's gym, because running was a little uncoomfortable. Plus, it got cold awfully fast and I hate the treadmill, and the elliptical isn't so bad, because I can watch tv on my iPod. Now that I don't have a full gym in my basement, I decided it was time to start running again.

You know how, on the Biggest Loser, when they're about halfway thru the season and they make them wear those weight suits that bring their weight back up to their original weight? To show them how hard they were working when they weighed more? Yeah, it felt a lot like that. It turns out you're pretty weightless on the elliptical, and in addition to the fact that it was freeeezing cold, I was not used to all the extra weight on my body. I am not sure why, because I've not gained an inordinate amount of weight, and besides that, it's only been a few months, if that, so it's REALLY not that much weight, but oh my god I felt like I was pulling a truck behind me. It felt good when I was done, though. Except for the part where it was still really cold. My GOD do I hate winter.

Speaking tangentially about the baby, do you know what irritates me and makes me laugh all at the same time? When I tell people we didn't find out the sex of the baby, and they say, "Oh, I would HAVE to find out. I like to plan." Plan? What is this planning of which you speak? We are just going to let the baby come out and then wing it. I wish someone had told me I could find out the sex of the baby so I could buy furniture and diapers and learn about babies. I mean, whatever, I really don't care what anyone else does, and I'm really shocked by how contentious the topic is (seriously, check out any babycenter message board, people get HEATED about who's "right", it is totally ridiculous), when it's obviously just a matter of personal preference. But for whatever reason, the whole "planning" thing really ticks me off. Maybe I'm missing something, and if I don't get my fetus signed up for either ballet or football, they'll NEVER get in.

Anyway. The baby is now big enough that I can feel both feet thru my stomach. I discovered this yesterday. Before, I could only feel one at a time, and it was only when the baby was stretching, but now I can feel the butt and both feet whenever I feel like it. It's really weird. But cool.

We're going to Sabatino's for dinner tonight. Why? It's our first anniversary. Crazy, right? It was waaay warmer one year ago today. Not balmy or anything, but definitely warmer.

Friday, November 14, 2008

I changed my mind.

I have slept about twelve hours all week long, combined. I spent all day wednesday, from 3pm on, running back and forth and unloading things. I woke up yesterday at 5:45, started running, and did not stop until Stephen and I collapsed into bed at nearly 11pm, and woke up again today at 5:45 to work early. My legs are so achey, just sitting in a chair hurts. I feel like I am nine thousand years old.

As a result, I have changed my mind. I am clearly not ready to be a mom because I. Can't. Take This. FOR REAL. I am going to die.

(ohmygodimjustkiddingdontletanythinghappentothebaby)

Of course, that does not matter, because as it happens, I am no closer to having this baby than I was nine months ago. My doctor's visit yesterday showed that, at nearly 37 weeks, I am not dilated at all and my cervix is somewhere up around my ears. Here I am, living proof that exhaustion and stress and that whole "don't lift anything over twenty pounds" business is BS, because NONE OF IT induces labor. I was talking to Robin, and she said the same thing (she went two full weeks past her due date with her first, did not dilate even one centimeter, and was finally induced). We decided that stress actually prevents labor, because the baby doesn't want to come out into all this nastiness when it's perfectly happy floating around and kicking its mother in the ribs. It makes evoluationary sense. Unfortnately, that means this baby will be born sometime around February, because our house is a total disaster area and I don't see that getting better anytime soon.

I desperately need a nap. I'm too tired to even be crabby. (ha. that is so not true.)

Monday, November 10, 2008

You Can't Make This Stuff Up (People's Energy, part two)

So, in spite of repeated attempts to contact People's Energy AND the Illinois Commerce Commission, I knew no more this morning than I did last week.

I went in to work early today and called People's Energy AGAIN. I actually got a semi-functional human being on the phone, who told me they had received my documents, but they were still being reviewed and there was still a hold on the service transfer. I asked how long it usually takes, and was told five business days, so if I called back tomorrow, they should have a resolution for me. I asked if I could call customer service directly, and the woman in billing told me no, she didn't even know how to get ahold of them, except by fax. She was awfully sincere, so I believed her, even if the entire situation seemed completely ridiculous. I figured I'd just call back tomorrow morning.

Here's where it gets really ridiculous (it's not already ridiculous? ha, just wait.)

I got home and found a letter to me, from People's Energy. They apologized for the error and told me the issue was resolved and removed from my account. Oh, and that they'd notified the credit bureaus and my report should be fixed in 30 days.

Um.

First of all, I have been monitoring my credit report and hadn't seen any negative changes, so PLEASE pray that this doesn't mess up our closing at all. It shouldn't, but JESUS, anything is possible at this point.

Secondly, this letter was drafted on friday. I received it today. At the same time, everyone else at People's Energy is convinced the issue is not resolved, and won't transfer my service. How I am supposd to fix this is entirely beyond me. I am bringing the letter to work tomorrow in case there's somewhere ELSE I can fax it, and hopefully I'll never, EVER have to call those people ever again.

On a semi-related note: the furnace people came out today, and it turns out the burners were just really filthy. They scrubbed them down in the kitchen sink and now everything is fine. We're keeping the thermostat set at Doc and Joanie-type temperatures (aka "don't bother putting the meat in the fridge, it'll be FINE on the counter!") just to be safe. They didn't charge us, which is nice, because it turns out they were supposed to have cleaned the furnace when they were here a few weeks ago, which is funny since, well, apparently they didn't.

I think I'll finally be happy about a week from now. At least, that's when things will feel sort of settled. Sort of.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Various and Sundry, Nothing Very Interesting.

1- People's Gas somehow linked an account under someone else's name, from 1990, to my social security number, and refuses to schedule a stop date for svc at the condo until I can prove I was not living in Rogers Park and racking up $300 gas bills at the ripe old age of fourteen. I am attempting to provide such proof with no response just yet. Awesome. Love that. Also love the billing dept informing me that someone in my family must have used my social security number. Of course. Why didn't I think of that? With all the identity thieves in my family, not to mention all the relatives I've had at the address in Rogers Park where this account was located. OF COURSE.

2- It is virtually impossible to get water service set up in the city of Chicago. When I moved to Evanston, I called one number and got a very pleasant woman on the phone who set up my account. Today I called five numbers. Two were voicemails which were clearly the wrong departments. Two were answered by people with an IQ roughly equivalent to Sam (who, let's face it, is stupid even for a dog), who provided me with other numbers they INSISTED were correct. The last number I tried is the billing department, but the only prompts in the menu are for people with existing accounts. I asked to talk to a person, and was put on terminal hold (we're talking thirty minutes here, my entire lunch, at which point I hung up the phone). Stephen called a friend he thought could help, and hopefully we've got the right number now. I'm not entirely sure why water service is such a closely-guarded secret in this city, but we are talking about utilities here, which I'm not holding in particularly high esteem these days (see: point 1 of this post).

3- I took a trauma nursing certification course monday and tuesday. it was easily the most difficult certification course I've taken in my career. Really super interesting, but omigosh, SO hard. One really interesting factoid I learned: even for experienced first responders, the most traumatic events are those involving children. The woman who taught this section quoted an interesting statistic. I have no idea if it is true or not, admittedly, but I'm going to assume it is. She said that following the Laurie Dann incident (I link as if any of us could forget that), 90% of the ER staff who were working at Evanston Hospital that day quit their jobs. 50% never went back to health care. I guess that probably isn't very interesting if you don't work in health care, but anyway.

4- So much complaining, I have to finish by saying that we have the awesomest friends in the whole wide world and really really really appreciate all the help we're getting a week from saturday. I seriously do not know what we'd do without all y'all.