Monday, February 8, 2010

Coping Skillz

For all my shmoopy, sappy, "I love being a mommmmmyyyy" days, there are still some days that just suck. You know the days, when they wake up at 4:30, take lousy, short naps, and are totally uninterested in any activity that doesn't involve sticking a fork in a socket, pulling heavy objects onto their heads, climbing bookcases, or other life-threatening activities? And you think, how the HELL am I going to make it to bedtime? I cannot do this. Not today.

We had one of those days on sunday. Fortunately, I knew EXACTLY what to do.



(Taken from the archives. Since it's, you know, freezing cold outside and also she has a lot more hair now.)

She's fourteen months old today. She still doesn't walk, though she loves to swim. She doesn't reeeally talk, though she jabbers like crazy. Most importantly, with notable exception above, this baby SLEEPS:)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Nature is Weird

When I was in high school, I got dive-bombed by a bird. I did not do anything to said bird. I was just walking down the sidewalk and it buzzed me. I was completely freaked out. My dad told me I probably walked too close to its nest and it was defending its babies. I said the bird was an idiot, because what the hell could I possibly want with her stupidass babies?

Today I was loading groceries into the back of the car while Gracie sat in the cart, when a creepy old man came walking across the parking lot. I swear he was walking directly towards us. He never even made eye contact with me, and walked right past us into the store. He probably didn't even notice us.

We'll never know for sure, though. Once he was past us with his back turned, I jumped on his neck and pecked his fucking eyes out.