Saturday, August 28, 2010

well, now that it's out there...

(I mean, not that anyone who actually reads here was surprised to hear about Segundo;)

I remember learning in nursing school that women forget how much labor hurts. That later, they say, "Ohhh, it wasn't so bad!" That is NOT MY EXPERIENCE. I mean, I can't tell you exactly how it felt, but I can tell you I was in agony. Admittedly, I am a big, giant wuss, but my POINT is, I haven't forgotten how awful it was. The strange thing, that I knew was strange, even when it was happening, was how quickly I forgot the suckitude of pregnancy.

I, um, did not like being pregnant. And within seconds of G's birth, I forgot all of it. The nausea, insomnia, back pain, restless legs, fatigue, constant sinus headaches...poof. Gone.

Part of that was our newborn experience. Look, I know nobody's newborn is easy. I also know I am really vocal and dramatic and so there's no way anybody really believes it was that bad. People just giggle and think, ohhh, KATHY. There you go again! Or roll their eyes. I get it. I really do. But just trust me on this: HELL. It was hell. It was beyond anything I could have imagined. Dante was like, "Whoa, dude. That's some messed-up shit." So really, even though I did not enjoy being pregnant, ohhh, it was SO much easier than attempting to console the inconsolable.

But more than that? I really, genuinely forgot. Months went by before I thought, oh crap, that's right, I had that weird thing with my legs where it felt like I had little electric shocks running through them anytime I sat still for more than a millisecond. Huh. Weird that I would forget that.

And then I got pregnant again. Ho-lee cow. I forgot! I forgot the mind-bending nausea, the gagging over the taste of tap water, the heavy-lidded exhaustion. The bloat. But? It's really weird. It's harder this time- I don't get to spend all my non-work time curled up in a ball, watching tv. I never, ever get to sleep until my body decides to wake up. Y'know, I have responsibilities beyond my own selfish self. But in some weird way, it almost makes it easier. Like, ok, yeah, I feel like crap. But I have bigger things to worry about now. NOT that it's stopped me from whining incessantly, as anyone reading this already knows. I do have to say though, objectively, there's something about already being a mom that makes this more tolerable.

Also, now that we've passed the twelve week mark, I'm actually starting to believe we might get an actual baby out of this deal. Yippee!!!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

If I Ever

start talking about moving into another 100 year old house when we are finally able to move from this house?

Please remind me about the time Stephen went to work out, and not five minutes later, a horrible, plasticky rattling sound came from behind the sideboard. Where we have a mousetrap. And how that rattling continued until Stephen came home and rescued me from the rattling trap. (and how UTTERLY WORTHLESS our stupid dog was, staring at me blankly while a trapped, probably half-dead mouse, tried to escape from the trap, climb my leg, eat my face and give me hanta virus.)

I am hoping that is all the reminder I'll need to rethink such a totally stupid idea.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Bless You

So, I'm not a religious person. But? There is just something about a stranger saying, "oh, god bless you!" or "bless her heart!" or one of those variations, when you're out with your kid(s). I don't get it much lately- I got it a LOT when Grace was a newborn, and especially when she was fussing (aka screeeeaming) in public. Now I mostly get it when we're out running together. It just...I don't know. For whatever reason, it makes my day. You get so many comments, especially as a brand-new mom, that can sound patronizing or annoyed or whatever else, but when people say this, it's like shorthand for, "Look at your baby! Aw. And you're doing just fine. I promise!"

I wish I could pull it off myself, but I would sound so awkward saying it, I've never even tried. I wonder if there's another phrase that works as well?

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Three Miles and a Block Party

(I was reminded of the existence of my blog today by someone who, I might add, NEVER says hello to me in these parts. I'm just saying.)

It has been waaay too hot and sticky to run outside this summer. I seriously don't know what I would've done if I were training for the marathon this year, because it has been humid and stifling and totally disgusting since the beginning of July. And look, I KNOW there are places where it gets hotter and stays that way longer, and I KNOW I also hate winter (it turns out I hate extreme temperatures, perfectly rational if you ask me), but DAMN, the weather sucks this summer. Not to mention, the huge amounts of rain have left us with a bumper crop of mosquitoes- I took Sam and Grace for a walk the other day, thought we were walking into a cloud of gnats, nope, mosquitoes. We all needed blood transfusions by the time we got home. Disgusting. So anyway, that means I've been trying to run on the treadmill after Grace goes to bed, which is going badly for a whole variety of reasons, the upshot of which is, running sucks this summer. It's frustrating, because I lose endurance and speed so quickly and it takes so long to get it back. Yesterday, the heat broke, and we were able to get out with the running stroller, and I cranked out THREE WHOLE MILES.

Three miles is NOTHING. It is total baby stuff. And I was DYING by the end. But I ran three miles outside, and felt a thousand times better. Of course, it's supposed to be back in the 90s by this afternoon, and stay that way for, like, the next fifty years, but at least we took advantage of the good weather.

We also had good weather for the block party. Breezy, sunny, not very humid. And AGAIN- nobody would talk to us!! I even kept Grace up past her bedtime and fed her a plate of mostaccioli, thinking maybe people would do the most socializing during dinner. Well, they did. WITH EACH OTHER. I sat at the end of the table with Grace on my lap while my jackass neighbors ignored me entirely. The rest of the day, I was chasing Grace around, trying to keep her from running in front of big kids riding bikes and/or tearing up the neighbors' flower beds, but even then, people could've said hello. I hate this block. For real.