Monday, October 31, 2011

oh god, it's EVERYWHERE

In an effort to catalog my every achievement of Maternal Awesomeness, I give you this:

The day was saturday.  The time was just before 9am.  Grace, Katie and I were playing in Gracie's room.  Katie started to fuss, so I told Gracie I was putting her down for her nap, and asked if she wanted to keep playing in her room.  Yes, she said.  I told her I was closing her door so the noise wouldn't bother Katie.  I settled into the glider with Katie, and of COURSE, just as her eyes got heavy, heard Gracie calling, "mama?  mama!  mama!"  I stage-whispered, "in a minute, Gracie!!!"  and as I got Katie into her crib a few minutes later, thought to myself, yes.  I will leave Gracie downstairs tomorrow at naptime like always, this was a tactical error.

I had NO IDEA.

I opened the door to G's room, and....poo.  EVERYWHERE.  Alllll over the floor.  See, because, the thing is, I FORGOT that when we put G in a bed, we put a childproof doorknob cover on the inside door knob, so she couldn't get up in the night and wander around looking for broken glass to eat or anvils to pull on top of her head.  So she had to go potty and she couldn't get out of her room.

Just let that sink in for a minute, how awesome I am.

I. Felt. AWFUL.  I kept saying, "I'm so sorry Gracie, I'm so sorry!!!"  which then led her to mimic me and say, "sowwy, mommy!!  Sowwy!"  so THEN I had to keep saying, "NO Gracie, don't be sorry!!!  it's okay!!!"  Then she said, "Mama, ees okay, I cleaned it up!"  And my eyes darted furiously around the room, and asked, "...wiiiiith what?"  "The diap-air!" (God I love how she says that word.)  Sure enough, we'd left an overnight dipe in her room, and she had used it to try to clean up a bit.  Which you know made me feel that much worse. 

Now the carpet is scrubbed clean and the childproof doorknob is off the door (we sold all our anvils) and seriously?  I would prefer to not repeat that little adventure.

And on a totally unrelated note, I need Halloween to be OVER already, because I cannot seem to stop eating candy, and aside from the fact that I am pretty sure I gained back every ounce of baby weight that I FINALLY lost (but don't know for sure because I cannot bring myself to check), I have a constant ice pick headache, upset stomach, and hideous mood swings.   So srsly. Why I can't just stop eating the damn candy is also beyond me, but since I CAN'T, I need the sugar out of the house.

2 comments:

Laura said...

Oh maaaaaan. Crossing my fingers that THAT episode is a one-time run.

Megan M said...

needed to laugh (and laugh a lot)....will remember this post is here for future use...