Monday, April 30, 2012

Never a Good Sign.

As part of my ongoing effort to vary my childrens' diets, I try to make something new at least once a week.  I have mixed success with this, since I shop on tuesdays and have to plan in advance, and cooking takes time, and I hate hate HATE throwing food away.  Also I am not very creative so it almost always ends up involving chickpeas and spices in some kind of tomato sauce with pasta or rice and guess what?  NOT REALLY VARYING THE DIET.

Katie eats relatively well, since she is still a baby.  Gracie, though, is on a strict pasta with marinara, mac and cheese, soup, and yogurt diet, with the occasional peanut butter and jelly.  And not always all of that- some days, she will take one bite of pb&j and reject the rest.  Once I made her a veggie burger and she inhaled it and asked for more.  The next time, she took a single bite, politely pushed her plate away and sweetly said, "Mama?  Pwease-ah get me somefing better to eat."  (try not laughing at that, by the way.  YOU CAN'T.)

But the worst sign?  The one that tells me she will be having milk and yogurt for dinner?  Is when she comes cruising into the kitchen, stops dead in her tracks, and says, "Mama.  What is dat hoe-bibble smell coming from???"

She actually ate this, but see?  Pasta and chick peas.  Sigh.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Randoms to Remember

(sidenote: Curse you, Blogger.  I do not like change.)

Fun with Homophones:

me: Hee, Gracie, look at Katie's bare feet!
Gracie: Hee hee hee, mama, those aren't bear feet, those are Katie feet!

me: D'oh!!
Gracie: mama?  Why you say d'oh?
me: That's something to say when you're frustrated.
Gracie: No, mama, dough makes pizza.

Related To The First But Not the Second:

me: Gracie, what does Grammy call Katie when she takes her shoes off?
Gracie: Shoeless Joke!!

"Why do they sound the same but mean different things?  That's just SILLY."

First Words

Katie finally has some actual words.  And like her sister, her first word was identifying one of our pets.  Where Gracie started with kitty cat, Katie started saying (screaming, actually) dog just a week or so ago.  This morning, I got her out of bed and opened the blinds, and she saw Sam walking out to his pee spot and nearly lost her mind, yelling, "DAH!! DAH!!"  She also says night night, which is totally freaking adorable, and over the weekend when I asked her to tell grandma thank you, she immediately and perfectly signed it to her.  Genius.  Clearly.

"OK, so if we approach from the eastern front and bank left, then I'll never have to sleep again!"
The Best Thing of All

During the brief 30-45 minutes that Katie sleeps in her crib, I SHOULD be trying to get things done, things I cannot accomplish when the girls are awake.  And so I do: I crawl under a soft fuzzy blanket on the couch and sleep.  And then Katie wakes up and screams her brains out for half an hour because she is not done napping, but doesn't want to sleep anymore.  Over the weekend, though, I managed to get her back to sleep on my chest to finish her nap.  NOT ideal, but seriously, the girl is just awful from 2pm until bedtime when she wakes up and doesn't go back to sleep and I am also tired and so zzzzzz.....Sunday, we came back down to the couch, both got under the fuzzy blankie, and I immediately joined her in dreamland.  The sun was streaming through the windows over the couch, warming up the blanket, Katie was all warm and snuggly, and I passed the eff out right alongside her.  She napped for another two hours.  BLISS.  Gracie supported this effort by taking her own extra-long nap.  I cannot remember the last time I felt so clear-headed.  It was phenomenal.  Of course, they paid me back by both waking at 4:15 today, but I take my victories where I can find them.

playing together without screaming: another major example of winning
It's the little things these days.  I don't feel like I have anything really that interesting, exciting, or funny to record.  But I don't want to forget the little things.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

That is the Middle of the Goddamn Night.

It's funny to look back and think how I thought Gracie was a bad sleeper because she woke up every day at 4:30 and took tiny short crappy little naps. 

She was a fanfuckingtastic sleeper.

I have learned this now that I have a second child, who goes to bed even later than Gracie, takes even shorter, crappier naps, and for the past two days, has woken at 3:45am.

I am so exhausted and frustrated and pissed off that I got two crappy sleepers, and you know what's not helping?  The smug people who are SO SURE my kids could sleep, if only I would do it their way because I'm just doing it WRONG.

And look, I get it.  We all get smug about stupid parenting shit because here's the thing: when our kids do something well, whether it's eat their vegetables, sit quietly in church, or sleep like a normal goddamn earthling, they do so because we've worked really hard at it.  We want credit for that, because it took thought and patience and consistency and it was not fun but darnit, we did it and we got good results.  But here's the other thing: sometimes?  You do all that hateful thinking and patience and consistency and the kid still refuses to eat anything other than corn, screams through mass, or wakes up at THREE FORTY MUTHALOVING FIVE IN THE AM. 

Nobody can make Katie sleep.  Just trust me on this one.  And consider this your warning, the next time you roll your eyes and say I just need to make her cry for FOUR hours every night for a month, I am not going to be nice about it.  I'm going to remind you that your kid eats nothing but bologna and grapes and hasn't had a drop of milk since you took his bottles away.  Don't make me be that asshole.


"The thing is, Katie, even *I* think you  might be taking this no-sleeping thing a bit too far."

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Laziness Never Pays.

Every once in awhile, I get sick of blogging. It just becomes a chore, and I wonder why I'm doing it. It's just one more task on an endless list of responsibilities. But then I start reading through my archives and I'm reminded of something funny or sweet that I completely forgot about, and think, oh FINE I'LL KEEP BLOGGING. And after I lost my goddamn muthaloving iPhone earlier this week, I was reminded AGAIN that I need to keep blogging because I am not a reliable recorder of memories otherwise.

Because, see, I not only failed to set up iCloud (which took all of three seconds with the new phone, which I KNEW IT WOULD, by the way), it had been ages since I uploaded pics from the phone. So the pictures of Katie climbing into Gracie's frog potty? Gone. The videos of Katie and Gracie playing in the tub together and laughing hysterically? ...well, actually, I still have one, but I lost the BETTER one. The pictures of Gracie dyeing Easter eggs in the kitchen? NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN.

Luckily, my parents are not as flaky as me.


To me, the suckiest thing about the lost phone is the lost pictures.  The rest, meh, I'll figure it out.  But the pictures....ohhhh, that hurts.  So FINE.  I'll keep BLOGGING, even when it feels like a freaking chore, because it's one more place to come back and think, awwww, yeah, Katie WAS a total photobomber!!