Seriously, yes, it is always a stress to move, but this is so, so, so good. We NEED to move. This neighborhood is just...not working. It's just not what I thought it was (I can't necessarily speak for Stephen, but I know he's been dying to get out of here even longer than I have.) We are going to be in a much more residential neighborhood, closer to our families, better schools, our church, etc. This is a GOOD thing.
...but if wouldn't be me if I weren't overthinking the bejesus out of it, and being hormotional on top of it isn't helping (because although this pregnancy feels shockingly similar to Gracie, I am shocked- SHOCKED- by how maudlin and weepy I have been. And as someone who is maudlin and weepy at baseline? It's just ugly.) I know I've covered this before. And I'm not sure I can explain it any more clearly than I already have. Except maybe that it's not about the house, even. I mean, it IS- like I said, this is where we became parents, and that's no small thing. But before we ever knew Gracie was coming, before we were married or even lived together, Stephen lived in an apartment around the corner. And we used to drive around the neighborhood and point out all of the Victorians with big porches where we imagined we might live one day. It was the perfect neighborhood, halfway between work and family, still close to the fun, young neighborhood where I lived and Stephen would eventually move. I didn't just think we would live here, I thought we would make a life here.
And SERIOUSLY- let me just say again that this is all silliness, because this move is SUCH a good thing and SO necessary, and such a massive relief and will eliminate so much stress and frustration and bring us so much happiness. When I try to put my finger on it, I don't think I'm sad as much as wistful. Because, sorry, but I have to quote Liz Lemon for just one second, I swear (I'm already being completely smurfy so WHY NOT), when she and her boyfriend decide to have a baby together and she says to herself, "Life is finally happening!!" This neighborhood was where life was finally going to happen. And now life IS happening and I could not be happier (well, I would like to sleep a bit more.) So even though the neighbors sucked and the garage got tagged and the mice made themselves comfy here, and even though this is not where our lives will still be, this is one of the places where our lives started*, which is worth remembering. (also: YIPPEEE!!!! we're moving!!) (* the other place is the condo where we lived before G was born, but I don't even NEED to celebrate that place because it was awesome and celebrates itself and we only moved because it was too small.)
|not visible in picture: 42 metric tons of plastic, board books, and dog hair.|