Sunday, December 23, 2012

32 weeks and change: come see my immensity

I had a doctor's appointment at 31 weeks and was horrified to learn I had surpassed my TOTAL weight gain with both girls by five pounds.  With nine weeks left to go.  Which?  Is still not a terrible total, truly, but knowing how I carried every last ounce of Katie-gain until I weaned her, and how truly irritating that was, I was seriously annoyed.  When the doctor (who is not my regular doc, just one of the docs in the practice) came in, I jokingly said I wanted her to tell me the baby is YOOGE, and that is why I am gaining so much weight.  She said he is probably not (without even looking at me) and that I probably need to eat fewer carbs.  Then she measured and found me measuring about 32 weeks and said, nope, you need to exercise more, eat fewer carbs, and stop eating when you're full.

A) OH IZ DAT HOW DAT WERKS?  GOOD TOO NO.

B) we'll just pretend that Katie measuring one single week behind wasn't a cause for multiple growth ultrasounds and say that measuring a week ahead doesn't mean he's on the beefy side.

C) SERIOUSLY, BITCH?  Do you SEE my total weight?  Because it is actually still within healthy BMI range for NON-PREGNANT women of my height.  So suck it.

And I also realized that I started out this pregnancy significantly skinnier than I started the other two, so even though I will still end up much higher than I did with the girls, it is not QUITE the cause for annoyance I originally thought.  Because, thanks to the massive stress around G's seizures and general overall health, I started out this pregnancy with a BMI of about 19 (yes, I actually went back and calculated it when I realized I was pissed off by her comments).  Stress will do that to a person (sidenote: anyone who has ever been told to just relax and you will get pregnant, please do feel free to use me as an example as to why they should go piss up a rope.  Really.) 

So annoyed.

I have also been fighting the cold that ate Cleveland for the last two weeks, so it's really been fun times up in here.  It started as this godawful spasmodic cough that kept me up all hours of hte day and night and eventually migrated to my head, where it has robbed me of all sense of smell and therefore taste for the last week, and it does not appear as though it will return in time for Christmas eve dinner tomorrow, so I gotta tell ya, I'm not the most pleasant company these days.

I probably need more brownies.

Anyway.  This is what I look like right now.  I am enormous, there is no denying that.  But try to tell me that's not a big baby.  JUST TRY I DARE YOU.

Stosh:
Katie:
 Gracie:




It's the first picture where I remember Katie finally passing up Gracie's bump.  I definitely pass up both with Stosh, though.  BOYS.


3 comments:

Donna said...

I am not a generally violent person, but I'd like to punch your doctor in the nose. Please go eat some brownies and milk with a big smile on your face. Besides, I question whether one should even be a doctor if one is blind.

Jessica said...

Stosh is a big boy. You look great.

Torrey said...

Dude, Stosh is massive! I mean, heck, it isn't you... I can see your ribs.

And yes, you look great.