When the discharging doc came to chat with me the day I came home after Jimmy was born, she asked if I wanted a N0rc0 script. I had taken the script with both girls and never filled it, so it seemed silly to even ask for it and I said no. (FORESHADOWING.)
I came home feeling mostly okay. Jimmy was relatively big, but unlike with the girls, I did not have an (entirely stupid, unnecessary, don't get me started) episiotomy, so I felt pretty okay. Aaaand then a day passed. And I found myself sitting in the bathroom, sobbing in pain, in spite of taking Motrin like candy for the previous 24 hours. I could not even believe how much it hurt. I could barely walk without holding myself, and stairs, forget it. Then that night, as I was nursing Jimmy, I found myself writhing on the couch with after pains as bad as some of my worst contractions.
And I felt like a weenie, because this is my third baby, so isn't this supposed to be a walk in the park? And I felt stupid, because I had no N0rc0. And I had to decide, call my doctor's office with my tail between my leg and ask for the drugs, or suck it up and deal? I chose to suck it up and deal. Because I felt like a weenie.
In the meantime, my BFF the L&D nurse, kept asking me, are you icing? Are you icing? Are you icing? And I kept ignoring her, because I had stopped icing, but the bad pain started when i was still using the hospital ice packs (and seriously? Why do they not sell those in stores? Or on the internet? Or, like, ANYWHERE outside the hospital????) But desperate times call for desperate measures, and after three or four serious crying jags, SOMETHING had to change, and I found myself sitting on the Boppy, draped with an ice pack. And something really weird happened.
It didn't hurt as much. I didn't want to die. I wasn't sobbing hysterically every time I was alone in the bathroom. And then the next day, I felt nearly normal.
ICE: Worker of Miracles. People should know about its powers to reduce swelling. I shall spread the word!
(however: ice doesn't do shit for after pains. don't be a hero. take the damn n0rc0 script. seriously. there is no valor in pain.)
Now if I could get time to stand still, I'd be all set, because it turns out the last baby I will ever have in my entire life is going to be a week old in less than twelve hours and that is really not cool.
|Back when he was still wee, at three days old, already plotting to age rapidly and break my heart.|