(in case you had any doubts about the depths of my insanity)
So, after Grace was born, the postpartum period was reeeeally rough. And honestly, not just because she was fussy and high-maintenance. The hormones were awful. I'm pretty sure I've covered this before. And I'm also pretty sure I've covered the fact that I had the exact opposite experience with Katie- I was positively euphoric. But I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned that although things got a lot better within a week or so of Grace being born, I continued to feel like a bit of a nutcase for a long time after Grace was born. Like, pretty much until Katie was born. And it's like the hormones snapped me back into being myself. Which makes me think of that Sweet Valley High Book, where Elizabeth hits her head and turns from the good girl into the BAD girl, and is TOTALLY about to give it up when she falls and hits her head again and snaps back into being the good girl, and thus her virginity is preserved.
And, see, this worries me, because I only want three kids. And what if having the third kid snaps me back into being off-kilter, and I don't have another baby to snap me back into place????