Sorry Gypsies, we're keeping her.

Because for the last two nights, our gorgeous angel has started out her night with a six hour stretch of sleep.

SIX HOURS, PEOPLE!!!! And last night she went down at 9:30, giving me real hope that I might, in fact, be able to return to work as a functional adult in one month.

Her timing could not be better, as today is the nicest day in Chicago in ages. We went for a walk this morning, which she loved, and now she's taking her afternoon nap in her crib.

I know she'll backslide, I know this isn't permanent, but it is a HUGE step.

Also, in her pleasant, well-rested state, she is making some seriously fabulous cooing sounds, and when she's not totally wrecked, she adds the cutest little gurgle to the end of her yawns.

Looks like we'll be taking the gypsies off speed dial.

STRIKE!

Gracie is escalating her nursing strike. Her union rep is refusing to reveal her demands, which is really a shame, because as long as they didn't involve breaking any laws or anything, I'm pretty sure I'd be willing to meet them.

She did this once before- when she was about two weeks old, the left side was a bit overwhelming for her. In the sense that it would practically drown her. So, understandably, she'd get really pissed off and not want to nurse on that side. That evened out a bit, she got bigger and could handle it more, and the problem was solved. I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what is going on here. It started on the left side again, progressed to the right side, and is now progressing to feedings when she's only half awake (so she's howling in the middle of the night, which is awesome, no?).

I haven't bothered to call the lactation consultant who absolutely saved our breastfeeding experience at the beginning, for a few reasons that all conclude the same way: I just don't believe there's an answer to this. Back when I called her, I knew I needed her. The breastfeeding support at the hospital was crap, neither one of us could get the hang of it, and I knew we just needed good advice. We got it, and all was well. Now, I feel like there are a million theories as to why this might be happening, but none of them make any sense. It's not her reflux, because this got worse after we addressed that. It's not the letdown, because I still have a fast side and a slow side, and she does it on both sides. It doesn't really make sense for it to be something physical, because she takes bottles happily. I just...I think she doesn't like it, to be honest.

I go back and forth. It made me cry at first. A lot. I mean, totally silly, but it just feels like such rejection! I don't let myself cry over it anymore because it doesn't change anything, but it's really upsetting. Sometimes I think, forget it, this is so not worth it, I'm done. Then I think, we just have to work through this, she's still too young for me to be willing to switch her to formula when I have such a great supply. When I go back to work and have to pump all day, that might kill things, which is a totally different story for us. THEN I think, yeah, but I'm not willing to pump all day and just give bottles while I'm still home, I'm not a damn dairy cow.

I'm still not sure what we'll end up doing. I'm sort of hoping that if I keep doing what I'm doing, it'll just kind of go away. That solution has served me well for 33 years. We'll see, I guess.

Deuce

Unbelievable, no?

Just because it's a cliche doesn't make it less true

Okay, two cliches, actually:

1- I can't wait for Grace to be able to show us her personality. I mean, okay, she really can already, but more of who she's going to become. The things that make her so hard now are going to be...well, they're still going to be really hard when she's older, but they're going to be so cool, too. She's so stubborn and determined, and her need to constantly be on the go go go is going to make her such an amazing person, I think. She'll be a true Sagittarian:) I really, really hope I can figure out how to make sure she keeps a sense of adventure without, like, killing herself.

2- One day, this child will stop fighting sleep so hard. oh my GOD, I've never seen a baby fight sleep as hard as she does. Eventually, she will sleep big long chunks and we will feel human again. Eventually, she will learn to love sleep (and if she takes after her mother, she will learn to looooove sleep). And when that day comes? I will have my revenge. Oh yes, I will.

Overshare

Putting Gracie to bed at night gets me SO worked up and anxious and stressed out, my feet get sweaty.

REALLY sweaty.

The End.

Damnit, I knew it.

Guess who probably would've been a GREAT sleeper, if only she'd been born about fifteen years ago???




*sigh*

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.

She was fussing like crazy, so I figured, eh, we'll do some tummy time. She fussed for a minute, passed out cold, and has been asleep ever since, including getting herself back to sleep after two hard-core startles.

Unfortunately, Grace lives in the age of SIDS research, so instead of sleeping like that all the time, she only gets to nap like that with her mother at her side, watching her like a hawk, and spends a lot of time tired and pissed off.




Poor thing.

Grace of the Future

Today, while we were at Stephen's mom's house for brunch, the neighbors came over, mom and her daughter Grace. That Grace is about seven or eight years old, I'd guess? I'm not sure. Anyway, the mom and I were talking about our Graces, and it turns out that Grace was horribly colicky, too. I asked her mom when she started to get better, and she kind of hedged, kind of a lot, because I think she didn't really want to admit that it took forEVER. She said her Grace just constantly wanted to be on the move, and was so fidgety, she'd get agitated if she was still for more than five seconds. That is SO our Grace, too.

The good news is, her Grace is just a sweetie, so outgoing and polite and friendly and super-excited to meet our Grace. The bad news? Her Grace didn't get better until she started walking.

WALKING, people!!!!!

At least she walked early, but that doesn't mean ours will! She did say it started to get better at three months, but she was still fussier than average until she was 9.5 mos old and could walk.

God help us.

Having said that, we're on day two of prevacid. I see no difference yet, but I've been told by other parents to expect even longer than three days, so I am trying really hard not to despair yet. We did put her to bed in the swing last night to start out, and she slept five whole hours, which is the longest she's ever slept in her life. The swing motor is SO damn loud, I had a dream I went shopping for a new swing with a quieter motor, and when I found one, it cost $252. I bought it anyway, but I was mad at myself for not registering for it. Great dream, that. Anyway, after she woke up, I fed her and put her back in her crib, a process which took about an hour and fifteen minutes...about average for us. However, she DID stay asleep for another three and a half hours, which is really huge.

We also went for a walk today, in the "mild" weather. It turns out lots of people in Irving Park don't own shovels. This is amazing, since, you know, we live in Chicago and it snows every winter, but I have to believe that is the issue, because what kind of asshole lets it snow all winter and doesn't shovel their sidewalk? Someone who enjoys watching two desperate parents lift and carry their stroller across the icy, compacted snow while wrestling with a 90 lb dog who's on his first walk in weeks, that's who. There's a special place in hell for those people, right alongside the ones who turn from the center lane and the people who stop dead in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store on a saturday afternoon.