Sunday, May 25, 2008

avoid-avoid

Isn't this supposed to be the worst type of conflict? When you have two choices and you don't really want either one?

It doesn't even accurately describe this conflict, because I have an option I DO want, I just can't have it.

We have to move. Absolutely. There is not enough room here for a baby. We have our room, and we have the second bedroom, which houses Stephen's online business. And that's it. There's nowhere else to put the business, and there's nowhere else to put a baby. And that really sucks because I could live in this condo for the rest of my life.

I really love this place. I love the kitchen, I picked everything out myself. I love that it's big enough for us, but small enough that it's easy to clean. I love the washing machine in our unit- and we're all on one level, so no carrying laundry up and down stairs. The fact that someone ELSE mows the lawn and shovels the snow and fixes the roof and calls ComEd when the power goes out. I love the gym in the building. And wow, I REALLY love this neighborhood.

Unfortunately, so does the rest of the world, since the single family homes in this neighborhood are the most expensive in the city. This isn't really surprising, I'm a lowest common denominator kind of girl. But it's not just that, it's also the fact that things like easy access to the Brown Line (by far the best El line in the city), cute little stores, awesome restaurants, friendly bars, and lots of grocery stores make for good places to live.

So we have to move and we can't stay here. And that really sucks. But at the same time, we HAVE to. The condo has to get sold, we have to settle on a house (which we mostly have, I think, unless it sells before we sell our place), and we have to leave. So I find myself desperately wanting the condo to sell, scrubbing the floor on my hands and knees, folding and refolding everything in the closet, and buying new towels so the bathrooms look nicer, hoping someone will love it as much as we do. At the same time, I think, well, if it took a long time, that wouldn't be such a bad thing...

Ugh.

We have to sell the condo and we have to move. I just wish I were more excited about that.

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