Saturday, September 13, 2008


Come February, I will be the first woman in the history of mankind to go back to work, leaving her child in the care of another person.

Oh wait. That's not right. I'm just ACTING that way.

I never thought I'd be a good stay-at-home mom. I never really wanted to be a SAHM. Then something really weird happened, sometime between the faintest second line in the history of First Response popping up and the first time I saw that fluttery, flickery little heartbeat. I found myself completely horrified by the prospect of going back to work and leaving my baby at home. I feel like I'll never, ever see the kid. Some total stranger will be raising my baby. They won't feed them the same way I do, or put them down for naps the same way, or do anything the way I do. (ohmygodwhatifthebabylikesthembetter?????)

And then I remember that I am NOT the first person ever to leave their baby with someone else. Millions of people do it every single day, and their kids turn out just as well as the kids whose moms are home. I know, objectively, that the kid won't forget who I am, or decide they want to go live with the nanny (shut up, I saw Irreconciliable Differences at a very impressionable age). I guess I just wasn't expecting to ever feel this way, so I had never really thought it through before, and I'm just blowing it all out of proportion.

It still sucks, though.

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