Mystery the First:
Why did they stop making Underoos? You KNOW kids didn't stop wanting them. Why did they stop making them? It makes no sense.
Mystery the Second:
If you didn't grow up on Star Wars, is Darth Vader still an objectively terrifying figure? With the ridiculous helmet and black swooping cape? I don't think I know anyone who can answer that for me. Maybe one of the toddlers we've hired recently as new nurses? Except, even they probably grew up on Star Wars, watching it on tv and video, if their parents cared at all about their cultural development. Must investigate further.