Monday, November 29, 2010

Various and Sundry

I have an appointment tomorrow to check Segundo's heart rate. I'm nervous. I feel like I shouldn't be. Everything we've seen has been encouraging, and the cardiologist told us the risk of anything bad happening is, like, 2%. When I compare that to the things I do and see at work that carry a 2% risk, and how often it seems like we see those things happen, I think, oh, pshaw, this is nothing! And I did feel that way for a long time. But in the last few days, I've found myself feeling sort of scared. I'm bringing Gracie with me to the appointment, and there's a part of me that feels like that is tempting fate. Just a teeny part- not enough to, say, find someone to watch her, but that teeny part of me is there. So I guess I can't deny that I'm worried.

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I woke up several times last night- midnight, 3am, 5am. For really no reason. And I was annoyed and frustrated. I also thought, "In a few months, this will be a GOOD night." And I wept. Not really, but I wanted to.

Speaking of sleep, Gracie is going through some kind of Thing. I am not a fan of this Thing. Although she has never needed a lot of sleep, she had become relatively consistent, staying in bed until 6 (and sometimes even sleeping til a bit later than that!) and napping for up to two hours (with the occasional three tossed in there, just to make me think she might become a sleeper.) She was actually happy to go to bed. She seemed to enjoy the time alone- she would play in her crib for up to an hour, and then fall asleep. I absolutely refuse to call it lucky, we worked DAMN hard to get there. Lately, though? Oh man, she cries bitterly when we put her to bed. Even worse? Was last night, when she actually *whimpered* when I put her in the crib, and moaned, "maaammaaaa" as I walked out of the room. FABULOUS. She was also having some seriously wicked night wakings about a week ago- screaming like she was being tortured, and again with the "MAMAMAAAAA!" or "DADAAAAA", depending on her mood. This led to us rushing in to her room, to find her standing in her crib, just crying for no real known reason. Since it was so incredibly unusual, we'd scoop her up and rock her awhile...and she'd drift off to sleep. And absolutely *scream*, again, when we attempted to put her back to bed. Worse than when we started. That seems to have passed. I think? But the going to bed is just godawful. And? We really need to transition to a bed relatively soon. Looks like sleep is about to get a lot worse, well before March.

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Last night, while I was (or was not) sleeping, Stephen was awake, because he works midnights. As he is known to do, he was baking. I woke up to warm, fresh, biscuits, straight out of the oven.

Don't hate the playa, hate the game.


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