Saturday, February 11, 2012

THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

So I was sitting at my desk yesterday, minding my own business and generally being an angel of mercy, when suddenly, it washed over  me: I. Was. SICK.

I collapsed on the floor for awhile, and when the waves of nausea finally passed enough for me to be ambulatory, I drove home.  Once I got here, I perked up a little bit, and thought, oh, okay, I just ate something funny.

BUT NO.

We got the girls to bed and I am not going to go into any details, but let me assure you, it was EPIC.  I got back on the couch, teeth chattering, for awhile, before I remembered I still had leftover zofran from when I was pregnant with Katie, choked down a tab, and went to bed.

About an hour later, I heard Katie screaming.  I mean, of COURSE she was.  She is the worst sleeper ever and she will be waking up and asking her college roommate to call me so she can nurse.  A few days ago, I decided I would not be nursing her at ALL overnight anymore, because we are weaning (WE ARE) and she absolutely does not need to nurse and it is time for us to figure out other ways to soothe this kid back to sleep.  But you know, I was exhausted and racked with nausea and the thought of listening to her scream on and off for the hour and a half it would take her to get back to sleep just crushed me.  So I went and nursed her.  And I knew it was a mistake, but I did it.

...So I wasn't remotely surprised when I heard her crying again at 3:15.  What did shock me was the nature of her crying.  Because it wasn't the "I woke up and I'm lonely and also would like some boob" cry, it was the "I woke up and am ready to start the day so please come fetch me" cry.  I ignored her for an hour, during which time she cried and stopped and cried and stopped but cleeearly was not going to be going back to sleep.  And so she got her way and I fetched her and brought her downstairs.  Stephen followed close behind me and sent me back to bed for a few hours.

What kid wakes up at 3:15 for the day when you haven't reset your clocks?  MY KID, that's who.

so then?  THEN??? THEN????

She did not nap until 9am.  And woke up screaming the minute I put her down.  She cried for maybe five minutes and fell asleep.  For half an hour.  When she woke up.  Wide awake.

Of course.  I mean, seriously, what baby needs more than nine hours of sleep?

Fast forward to 1pm (yes, ONE PM, she is still going strong), we are taking Gracie up for her nap, and Katie is still wide awake.  A few minutes later, she rubs one eye and I decide we are DONE.  Diaper change, nurse, she's out cold.  Until she wakes up the second I unlatch her.  But you know what?  NO.  She is a year old and there is no reason for me to be nursing this kid through an entire frigging nap.  So I put her down.

And forty minutes later, she is still screaming bloody murder.

And look.  I get that "sleeping like a baby" is the stupidest, most bullshit statement anyone ever cliched, but SERIOUSLY WHAT THE F*#((???

I guess I'll just need to make sure I'm in her roommate's speed dial.

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