Don't look now, but Gracie is actually sitting in a bouncy seat, sucking on a paci, and not screaming like I'm killing her. Granted, she keeps spitting the paci out and then screaming with rage over the loss of said paci, but progress is progress.
Speaking of progress, there's basically none on the sleep front. She's awake more and more during the day, yet this doesn't translate to sleep overnight. I am not sure if someone is slipping her crystal meth, or if I am secretly smoking crack and nobody is telling me and it's getting into my breastmilk? I really don't know. I know it makes no sense that she'd have these great quiet alert periods during the day and not sleep more at night.
It's really frustrating. I mean, DUH. But it is. I feel like I talk to people who say, "Oh, my baby didn't sleep that well at first either." But then I tell them about Gracie, and they say, "...Oh." I genuinely don't know what we're doing wrong. We try having a routine. We try not picking her up immediately when we know she's clean and dry and fed, we try picking her up right away, we try putting her down asleep, we try putting her down drowsy. Weissbluth and Babywise are mysteriously silent on this topic- their books tell you what to do to have the Perfect Baby, but they don't tell you what to do when their ideas don't work. And obviously we're doing SOMETHING wrong, but I don't know what that might be. Twelve years of pediatric nursing (in one form or another) are totally unhelpful on this topic. All I know is, we have a baby that won't sleep, we're totally exhausted, and it's hard to not feel like it's my fault.