Saturday, December 13, 2008


My number one fear about becoming a parent was the sleep deprivation. This was not even a close call. I love my sleep. I live to sleep. I am also aware of how stupid it is to say someone "slept like a baby" when we all know babies live to sleep only when you have energy and want to do things and then want to be up all night long eating and crying and pooping.

The only childcare books I bought were related to sleep and breastfeeding. The breastfeeding book didn't help much- we still ended up needing a lactation consultant. The sleep books, well, I kind of knew they wouldn't work, because they don't talk about what you're supposed to do when their methods don't instantly work.

Grace...she doesn't like to sleep. She's sleeping right now, of course, because it throws off the entire evening schedule and so why WOULDN'T she sleep right now? But let's recap:

Night One: Up all night screaming. I kept her in the room rather than sending her to the nursery because I was worried about starting up w/breastfeeding. If I had it to do over again, I would've sent her to the nursery, asked them to bring her to me two or three times during the night and/or pumped that night, and gotten some sleep. I didn't do that. She was up all night long. Stephen and I took shifts.

Night Two: Up all night screaming. We had come home that day, because I was just not feeling like the hospital was all that helpful. The jury is still out on the wisdom of that decision. Live and learn. So she was up all night screaming. Stephen and I took shifts. Stephen = superstar. I can hardly even explain.

Night Three: Up all night screaming (noticing a pattern here?). This is where Kathy starts to lose her freaking mind. Also by now, breastfeeding is a trainwreck and we're coping with that as well. Stephen and I take shifts but at this point, Stephen is carrying the team.

Night Four: My mom came over during the day and let us take a two-hour nap. my god, HEAVEN. That night, I was pumping the whole night and not nursing, plus Gracie got a little formula too (yuck...). She...oh my god. she SLEPT. She really, really slept! Two hour stretches! then she slept from 3am til close to 7am. It was truly heaven on earth. We woke up on friday absolutely giddy.

Night Five: A close second. No. Just...second. She did sleep 2.5 hours from 11-1:30, but she loses points for being wide awake for half an hour after her 3am feed (which Stephen took, and hung in like a champa nd stayed with her until she fell asleep again, promptly ruining his night of sleep and making sure he was up for two more hours). She lost another point for taking in a four-hour stretch from 6ish til 10am. It would've KILLED her to do that during the night? REALLY?

I have no idea what tonight will bring. She had a really long, really great alert period during the day, which is what I thought gave us such a great night on thursday, but now she's in the midst of a HUUUGE nap that looks like it's going to totally throw our evening off schedule. Hopefully she wakes up soon, especially because I was GOING to take advantage of this and take a nap, but Princess Grace has NO interest in sleeping her in pack n play and will only nap on her boppy lounger, which means I must sit next to her wide awake, lest she startle herself off the pillow and fracture her skull. That would be awful, and also incredibly awkward, since SOMEONE should know better...

I knew I would not cope well with the sleep deprivation, but in my defense, she's an exceptionally tough baby. I mean, of COURSE, this is the same baby who got herself all scrunched down and wouldn't let them get half the ultrasound images they needed at her 20week scan, most significantly hiding her lower spine. But still. I am tired.

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