Tuesday, March 1, 2011
You know how you get to that point, in every pregnancy, where you are just DONE? You're sick of peeing all the time, you can't sleep, you wish you could stop smelling your next door neighbor's cologne from your couch, all of that?
Yeah, I never got there with this pregnancy.
After Grace was born, and I was shocked to find myself heartbroken over no longer being pregnant, I swore to myself that I would enjoy my next pregnancy. I prepared myself and talked it up, and remembered all the good stuff to get in the right mindset, and it really worked. It helped that it took us longer to get pregnant this time than it did with Gracie, for sure, but a lot of it was the constant pep talks. I was nauseous longer, more exhausted, and had various other unpleasant symptoms this time around that I didn't have last time, but really, it was also a dreamy pregnancy in so many ways, and my focus was on all the good stuff.
Appointments were fun and exciting- sitting in the waiting room with all the other pregnant women, feeling all special, hearing the heartbeat, scheduling ultrasounds. My baby bump this time was cute and round and perfect, just like last time, but this time, I spent endless amounts of time just staring at it and rubbing it- I was cute, and I knew it. So much of the pressure that goes with a first pregnancy- making a registry, building a nursery, not knowing what to expect from anything- gone. This time, it was just about the anticipation of the baby, and it was so, so awesome.
I am thrilled to be sitting here, snuggling with my squishy newborn. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling really, really sad about not being pregnant anymore. I miss my bump. I miss out on two whole fun appointments! I miss the anticipation. It's a ridiculous thing to feel sad about, but...there you have it.