Every once in awhile, I will randomly come to a terrible realization about parenthood. Like when I realized I would never, ever spend a whole day on the couch ever again, or when I realized it would be years before I could nap at will.
Today I realized something horrible: one day, in the not-so-distant future, I will have to play board games with my kids.
I frigging HATE board games. I'm talking Madeline Kahn in Clue, "flames on the sides of my face"-style hatred. They irritate me in a way I can't fully articulate. The thought of endless rounds of Chutes and Ladders and Candyland...well. Let's just say it wasn't one of my bucolic fantasies about motherhood.
And for the very first time in my life since I became a mother, I thought to myself, "This. This right here, I have finally found a reason to be sad about not having twins."
Confidential to Segundo:
My sacrum is not an exit. No matter how hard you push there...it's still bone. Though I appreciate your dedication, this early tendency to tilt at windmills has me a bit worried about your future prospects. Best to live in reality. Bones are hard and unyielding, and mama doesn't want to play Parcheesi.